Daily Archives: June 24, 2010

So here it is, fellow advisors, planners, agents and reps: the most embarrassing situation I’ve ever experienced when networking (that I know of). Picture this: I’m traveling for business with Jackie, a top executive for a hotel chain with whom I was to co-facilitate a one-day training session with the management team of a hotel property. Now, Jackie and I have absolutely nothing in common. Zilch. She’s a bit older than I and reminds me of a college professor – she’s conservative in her manner, eloquent and articulate in her delivery, and highly intelligent. Now, this is all fine, but her personality is a bit aloof, so it’s not easy to connect with her.

We decided to break for lunch and found ourselves at a buffet; one of those places where everyone is holding Styrofoam plates, paper cups and plastic utensils. Lunch consisted of grilled chicken, steamed string beans and something orange I couldn’t identify. As Jackie spoke to me, I bit down on a string bean and (you guessed it!) released a stream of water that raced in her direction at warp speed. It’s important to note that while the water didn’t hit her directly in the face, it did, however, take an interesting trajectory and actually grazed the lens of her eye glasses, leaving a line of water that then dripped into her soda.

I tried to play it off as if nothing happened. As you might suspect, Jackie was on to me. She actually went cross-eyed for a moment as she looked at the line of water on her lens. This was now an uncomfortable moment, so my brilliant response was, “So what now?” That was all I could muster. Jackie actually smiled and asked if I would get her another soda, she would wipe her lens clean and we could call it even. Fair enough! The rest of the day went fine; in fact, it ended up being a great day, and a good relationship moving forward. Funny story, right?

Below are some fairly common awkward situations you may encounter in any number of networking scenarios and how you can overcome your anxiety to form effective networks.

How do I introduce myself?

This depends, in large part, on timing. Is the person you’d like to meet in the middle of a conversation? If so, excuse yourself politely and introduce yourself. On the other hand, if the individual appears to be heavily involved in conversation (transactional, personal or technical in nature), offer to return once they are finished speaking with one another. If you’re not interrupting anyone, then simply introduce yourself and ask some engaging questions – questions about them.

With every greeting, start with an assertive handshake: think of it on a scale of one to 10, with one being a floppy fish and 10 being nearly ripping someone’s arm out of its socket. In business situations, you want to shoot for a firm, but not too aggressive, handshake that falls around seven or eight on the scale.

If someone’s alone: Begin with a clear and simple introduction: “Good morning, my name is Michael Goldberg. It’s very nice to meet you.” Then move on to asking questions about them – in fact, you shouldn’t talk about yourself at all. Some questions that I’ll typically use include queries such as:

• What type of work do you do?
• For what company or firm do you work?
• Do you like what you do?
• What is it about your work that you love so much?
• If they’ve attended before, I ask: “What keeps you coming back to the event?” “What other events like this do you attend?” I may also ask questions like, “Do you market your business, and if so, do you have a target market?”
• If they’re a first-timer to the event and I am too, I’ll say, “Oh, great. Maybe we can tackle this together.” I’ll also ask things like, “How did you learn of the event? Did someone refer you? Who is your ideal prospect?” I also like to inquire about what they like to do outside of work for fun.